Happy Holidays Post 131
For those people celebrating Christmas all over the world, Happy Holidays to all. Regardless of the actual birth day of Christ, which wise men (and women) know was Sept 11, 3BC, it is a time of gathering with friends, time with family, celebrations and a relaxing of habits at the work place. People are generally a little more patient and giving.
It is a time of traditions, certain foods, special music and gatherings. I like this season and even in a new place with not many friends here at all, it is still a special time.
I got to see my daughter yesterday who made her first major road trip with her boyfriend. They went to see his family about an hour from where I live so I met them in a beach centered between us. I ran to greet her with tears and left her with tears about an hour later as they went on their way.
This business of letting your children be the adults they were meant to be is sometimes a road with a few bumps and rocks. How fiercely independent this child was. She has wanted to be in this spot in her life since she was 12 when I told her "Sorry, but 12-year-olds can't rent an apartment, you are stuck with your Mom for a few more years". Her teen years were tumultuous because she exerted that independence at every opportunity.
She is now finishing an allied health program of her own choosing, with very decent marks and is forming her own first page in life. Once again, I am faced with Keeping Mouth Shut about things she does not ask about, which is nothing, of course. You get to make all of your own choices at 19. I try to just be present in the moment and relish the sweetness I still see in her.
I installed the love of the beach that she now holds so surely, some of the more important lessons stuck with her too. She only knew this young man a month before moving in with him. Yikes. I tried to strike a balance, one of willing acceptance, not grudging. This adult relationship will be the longest we have so I tread carefully. Acceptance is a great tool to communication and that is the critical factor.
We see families who are at odds with other, sometimes with good reason but mostly, no real reason at all. Why not try to put aside the differences or better yet, extend the olive branch and say "I would like to be a part of each other's lives."?
I hope your holidays are merry and bright, that there is music, love, generosity and gentle kindness, laughter. All that before breakfast.
Until next time, remember that your true love might not give you these in the Christmas season but it is fun to try and remember the words to the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas"...
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten ladies dancing, nine WHAT?, eight...can't remember that either, seven lords a-leaping, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
