Bloomsinthegarden: Reaching Out With Grace

The new blog address is: www.bloomsinthegarden.wordpress.com
Will be migrating hopefully, by Feb 15.

Reaching Out With Grace

I received a call last night and was saddened because my friend was sad. I listened and tried to console, became part of her righteous indignation in support and sent her off with a prayer.

Later, I hoped that it will not take long for the healing of her sore heart to take place. Having been in that spot where a boyfriend of many years eagerly and repeatedly volunteered to help when infidelity raised her skirts, I know the depth of which this can hit us as humans.

Sometimes, the loss is so sharp that one is much more than dysfunctional, but nonfunctional, for days on end. I've never lost a spouse but I have lost relationships and these too, are a form of death.

One has to face the reality that even if they did come back and you allowed them back; which I also did, the smoke of doubt is always in your heart, acrid and burning, every time they are late.

This warring of grief and loss and being over it and moving on, is difficult. One even gets to a point in the grieving process of realizing that if you gave up grieving, then it would be over and for some twisted reason, you are not ready to give it up yet! I wish that upon no one but as humans, this is something that we are subject to go through at some point in our lives.

We have chemical imbalances, emotional flurries of depression and Isiah 61:3 speaks specifically of mourning and that there can be a spirit of heaviness involved.

Why healing of any sort takes the time it takes is one of those questions I shall ask God when I see him face to face. Why is it that sometimes healing is instantaneous, sometimes with just a little time and effort and at others, it can take years?

I may get an answer sooner than when I am having my one-on with God face to face, but for now, I know that loss takes whatever length a "season" is for each person to process their way through it. It also is different lengths at different times of our lives. The purpose of the process, I know not, but Biblically, there were periods set aside for mourning so there must be a reason for it. In all customs and lands, it is so. Rituals, traditions and time.

Regarding this very topic, the blog entry of 2/17/11 was describing how I got an answer to prayer with the man of my dreams, but, it was in regard to the man who dumped me, some years before. I happened across him in a local restaurant when I was with friends on Valentine's Day and realized that my prayers had in fact, been answered.

No, he did not confess his cruelty of heart or stupidity in leaving. I had waited all along for the answer to the prayer where he returned; penitent of course and he would actually be able to sustain a healthy relationship but what I really got was the new heart that I had prayed for.

Psalms 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a right spirit within me.

Seeing him provoked nothing; no sorrow, no humiliation, no regrets and not even any anger. I was in fact, healed in the heart that contained all of those.

Why did that not take two seconds, two minutes, two hours, days, two weeks (Pick a short one) rather than the two years it actually took? Can't answer it yet.

I can say that we can be the grace in time of someone else's need (that Hebrews 4:6 again). We can commiserate, comfort, be present while they simply ramble at the unfairness, bargain with themselves, silently petition the rat to dump the other woman and return to us, rail at the duplicity and, simply listen with full attention. We can stop what we are doing and be available when that ornery guy; grief, comes on sneakered feet and round kicks our friend in the heart again.

We can suggest some scripture, counseling, prayer, perhaps a small indulgence of a brownie or a glass of wine until our friend is herself again. Another help? Go find something almost blooming, even a weed. It shows the hope of things to come but not yet seen. It reminds us of the cycles God put into motion, that will carry on, no matter what is happening to us at the moment.

I do know that the effectual (intended and specific) fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much (James 5:16) so we can continue to thank God to help this person, give them what they need and OK, be quick about it!

The pictures today are from the sailing afternoon near Maui. There were interesting people, a young and eager crew, whales off the starboard side, and all the beauty of being on a vessel on the water.

Enjoy! Have peaceful seas, my friend!

This is post #99! I am researching other post sites, same "Bloomsinthegarden" title.

I'll be back with one more entry on this site to post the new address.

Until then, may the sun be on your face, at your back; a light wind to move you forward in your journey, and a pretty plant to look at.