The Winds of Change

    

"When the winds of change feel too strong,

  Close your eyes and let the breeze blow through your hair."

  I found this sentiment on a greeting card, bought it and hung it on my bathroom mirror.  People who come to my house with regularity are used to my habit of writing things in dry erase marker on my mirror, (which rubs right off) posting encouragements to myself or statements designed to refresh or remind me of something.

  Initially, I started the 'writing on the mirror' thing with my daughter, then 12, who needed a safe way and place to vent about her mother.  This worked very well for us, not just as a general message board; "Lunch money please" or "Love you!" but also when she did not love me at that moment. Both my children really hit the reality wall around age 14.  They so much wanted to be left to their own devices and ways but of course, they could not, nor do we want any young person to drop out away from us at that age. 

  I ran into a young woman working in one of the lovely little restaurants in our burg over the weekend who is now in college and in her twenties.  When she was at that Reality Wall age, she and her mother were found by me in a neighboring town, quite by chance, standing in front of a large grocery store arguing vehemently.  Daughter had a good start on making herself invisible, physically.  Her arms were wrapped so tightly around her middle that she appeared to be willing herself to drop through the sidewalk away from her mother who was in Lecture Mode.

  Instead of going around them, I stepped up to them, greeted them, took one hand of each of theirs in mine, one side and the other, and said something to the effect of "So nice to see you ladies here and I am sorry that you are having this difficult moment, take a deep breath and know that I will be thinking of you today." 

  It was enough to break them out of the argument zone and I went on my way with the yard saling friends with whom I had come to just use the facilities. 

  A few years later when my own daughter and I reached several of these junctures, I thought of the sidewalk mother-daughter.  I knew they were in turn a good daughter and a good mother, just like me and my daughter.  We had many difficult days simply because young ladies that age do not have the wisdom to understand that usually, moms are not bad moms they are just "Moms", doing their jobs, trying to keep these youngsters from falling off the map the way they so desperately want to.  My son and I travelled that road also; same age period, different issues so I do believe it is age-based, not gender.

  I have had two people tell me today that they have lost friends to disease way too early in life, this week.  Their grief is raw and real and as grief does, it has a briefcase or a purse, travelling with you to the winery, the store, to work, kicking you, bringing you to tears in front of everyone!

 After seeing the college student at the restaurant, I re-introduced myself; it had been several years since I had seen them on that sidewalk but she recognized me right away, hugged me and seemed to now understand the Big Picture.

  So whatever your storm, your challenge, know that sometimes we cannot control the event, rather, it much controls us, until...until we Close our eyes and let the breeze blow through our hair. 

 We can make a conscious decision to step back.  Some times, that *is* all we can do, all we have effort for, strength for, even, but each little step is a building block that moves us farther away from our life's event until something shifts and life becomes manageable again. 

  We have more control than we think, and as a wise man once said, "What power we have, if we only knew it!"

 

  My pictures today come from a local vineyard close by; Equus Run.  I rode my motorcycle out to join a friend (water only for me!) to enjoy some complimentary music, the sunshine, the vines themselves.

  It was my afternoon of "Letting the breezes blow" through my helmet while I enjoyed every nuance that riding on a summer day can bring. 

  Perhaps they will carry you to a new place also!